This day has happened many months ago. Usually when a situation comes up about an annoying customer or something that frustrated me, the normal thing to do would be complain about it or just get it off my chest to anyone with ears. But, this situation was one that I wasn’t sure to speak up about. I wasn’t sure how to explain what happened, and to who. The main reason is because I could put myself in the customer’s shoes and understand how she felt.

It was an ordinary day at work (I work in stock so when I work during the day, I’m replenishing product, checking stock for associates who are helping their customers, and occasionally helping customers myself on the floor). I happened to be in the fitting room at the time as a mother and her daughter, maybe about 10 years old, walked up to me. Now, working at Victoria’s Secret for about two years, I’ve grown comfortable with most situations like having to measure women for their bra size, checking to see if the bra fits, and pretty much anything imaginable. So, when the mother asked me if I could measure her daughter I was more than happy to help.

I was a little hesitant at first, because she was only about 10 years old. Usually when girls are maybe 12-13 years old is when mothers would decide to take their daughters to go bra shopping, of course depending upon the situation. However, I wasn’t going to turn her down. So, I looked down at the shy little girl, introduced myself and tried to make her feel as comfortable as I possibly could. She was wearing layers upon layers, which was very odd for the summer time. Long sleeves, a scarf, long pants, a jacket, anything to cover her little body up.

Symptom one.

I bent over a bit, attempting to make myself eye level with this poor little girl who felt so self-conscious about herself that she couldn’t even look me in the eye.

Symptom two.

I asked her if she would feel comfortable going into the fitting room with me so I could measure her and then proceeded to explain to her mother that I would not be able to accurately measure her with all of the layers that she was wearing. Usually, the easiest way is with a light shirt on, and measuring on top of all of those layers would be of no use.

The little girl repeatedly said, “No! No! NO!!!” I sighed, looked at her mother, and begged with my eyes for a sense of direction. Nothing. I looked back at the little girl and promised her that nothing would happen, that no one would see her, and that I would make sure that it would only take two minutes. She literally took her arms and wrapped them around herself. She started breathing heavy and I saw some sweat starting to gather at the top of her forehead. She repeated the word, “NO!” and backed away from me.

Symptom three.

By now, the mother clearly knew that her daughter did not feel comfortable. She literally stood there with a grin on her face, shrugged, and did not say a word to me or to her daughter. I did my best after the little girl was almost in tears when I asked her to lift her arms up so I could wrap the measuring tape around her.

I told the mother and the daughter her size and continued the process as normal, like writing down the size, explaining the types of bras that are available for girls her age, etc. Mid sentence, the little girl ran away and I’m pretty sure she left the store. The mother still stood there and did not even turn around when she saw her poor daughter leaving. I asked if there was anything else I could do for her and she said, “No thank you.” Mind you I would’ve liked to say a lot more if you understand what I mean.

I was astounded, shocked, worried, devastated, and every emotion in between. I had no idea what to say, if I even should have said a word. The mother and the daughter were complete strangers, so obviously it was not my place to say anything, but if I could say anything to the little girl it would be this:

I understand your struggle inside. At such a young age, it can be very hard to not be happy, or even okay with the way that your body looks at all. You are such a young, beautiful girl and have your whole life ahead of you. If I knew that at your age things would have been a lot different for me. Don’t ever listen to society and don’t ever conform to the idea that it plants into your head. Don’t listen to your mother and don’t ever let her make you feel like you are not enough. Don’t let ANYONE make you feel like you are not enough. You are perfect just the way that you are and there can only be ONE you. I hope that you are safe, happy, and healthy and I will always think of you and wish you the best.

As a retail worker who has had four years of experience, I have never encountered such a thing. I wish I could have done something, said something, anything to make her feel better. Not as employee to customer, but as women to women.

You do not know what anyone has been through upon just meeting them. Be kind, be compassionate, and be understanding.

A little can easily go a long way. I promise.